can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We don't watch enough power rangers
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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