and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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