i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
