My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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