he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
