I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
