sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
