My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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