U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
