Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
