I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
North Korea, Best Korea!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
