can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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