when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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