She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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