Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
