I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
