Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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