North Korea, Best Korea!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
