The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
