I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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