he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
