She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
