Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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