super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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