i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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