Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
