You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
