just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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