In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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