i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
