paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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