I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
