Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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