You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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