I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
