Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
