Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
