Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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