YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
