He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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