Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
