Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
