I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
