Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
