We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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