so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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