If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
