I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
