he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
