That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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