I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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