i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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