I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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