420 ftw
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
no, he came in my armpit
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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