shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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