The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
