Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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