I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
