I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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